Clack: 12 Years In A Single Phrase
by cuddlyharkness
Summary: Twelve years after Advent Children, Cloud is just tired...


_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house _  
><em>That don't bother me<em>  
><em>I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out<em>

The blonde sat silently in the kitchen by the window, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears. "12 years ago today..." He muttered, his voice barely audible over the rain coming down outside. He felt the first tear of a long night slide down his face. He breathed out, his breath fogging the glass. He drew a half a heart, the other half left undrawn. "It's been so long..." He said, resting his head on the glass. "You've forgotten me by now." He said to the cool force pressed to his head.

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_  
><em>Even though going on with you gone still upsets me<em>  
><em>There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok<em>  
><em>But that's not what gets me<em>

"Zack...I'm sorry..." He mumbled, for what had been his only thought since the day he lost the always smiling man. He could still remember the way he always felt safe around the elder man, always wanting to stay beside him. He'd long since forgotten the way it felt to be wrapped up in Zack's arms, though everyday he tried to remember. Despite his efforts, he could never feel like he had when Zack was alive and comforting him. "You used to visit me all the time...but in the past few years you've shown up less and less..." Cloud sobbed, letting the tears fall to the table and glass.

_What hurts the most_  
><em>Was being so close<em>  
><em>And having so much to say<em>  
><em>And watching you walk away<em>  
><em>And never knowing<em>  
><em>What could have been<em>  
><em>And not seeing that loving you<em>  
><em>Is what I was tryin' to do<em>

He felt the rest of his heart shattering. "12 long years without you...I'm lucky to have lasted so long..." He muttered, his normally bright blue eyes growing dull in the darkness of the house. "I'm glad Tifa remembered what today was...I don't want Marlene and Denzel seeing me like this..." He sighed, his face changed from the usual expressionless mask to the hidden pain and sadness he felt and dealt with everyday.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_  
><em>But I'm doin' It<em>  
><em>It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone<em>

Cloud remembered how the day had went. Everyone looking at him sympathetically, asking if he was okay. He'd told them he was fine, giving his fake smile. "It's gotten so much harder to smile over the years..." He said, looking up to the clouded sky. He hated how everyone always acted like they understood what it was like for him. Zack had been the first and only person Cloud had ever cared for more than himself. "Even Marlene and Denzel know that...they understand somehow..." He said to himself, brushing his soaked bangs out of his face.

_Still Harder_  
><em>Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret<em>  
><em>But I know if I could do it over<em>  
><em>I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart<em>  
><em>That I left unspoken<em>

He felt a cry building up inside him. He thought about how everyday he only wanted to stay in bed and die. "Maybe that'd be easier than going through all this...Bu you'd never allow that...you always told me to live as long as I can..." Cloud sobbed louder, banging his fist on the table to keep from crying out into the dark. "I know you always said to be strong for everyone...but now they don't need me." He said, feeling a cold presence in the room. "Hey..." He heard a chilled voice say, feeling the warmth of arms wrapped around him. "Zack..." He muttered, sobbing loudly as he turned and buried his face in the chest of his dead lover. 

_What hurts the most_  
><em>Is being so close<em>  
><em>And having so much to say<em>  
><em>And watching you walk away<em>  
><em>And never knowing<em>  
><em>What could have been<em>  
><em>And not seeing that loving you<em>  
><em>Is what I was trying to do<em>

"Cloud..." Zack said, tilting the other's face up to his. "It's been 12 years...you said I wouldn't have to wait any longer than that..." Cloud sobbed, his tears dropping through the ghostly hand. "And I meant it. If you're ready, you can come with me." Zack said, his smile sad as he kissed the blonde's forehead. "Please...I don't wanna be here anymore...without you..." Cloud choked out through sobs. "Alright. You don't have to anymore." Zack said, intertwining his fingers with the blonde's feminine ones. Cloud smiled through the tears, feeling his spirits lift a little.

_What hurts the most_  
><em>Is being so close<em>  
><em>And having so much to say<em>  
><em>And watching you walk away<em>  
><em>And never knowing<em>  
><em>What could have been<em>  
><em>And not seeing that loving you<em>  
><em>Is what I was trying to do<em>

Zack kissed the blonde lightly, making up for the 12 years lost between them. "Come on. Everyone's waiting." Zack said, walking with the blonde through a door no one else could see. They smiled, wrapped in each others arms as the gleaming light disappeared, along with the two of them. They muttered one simple phrase before being lost from sight. _"I love you" _

_Not seeing that loving you_  
><em>That's what I was trying to do<em>


End file.
